The Burning Bushes

The Aztecs believed human sacrifices maintained the sun. Foolish Westerners dismiss this as a grisly myth, but it is all-too real and all-too effective.

Although Mexican cartels kept the practice going under the cover of organized crime, global warming accelerated to dangerous levels when legalized abortion caused an excessive amount of human sacrifices, overpowering the sun to dangerous levels.

One family of blue-blooded Yankees turned Texas oil executives learned this terrible secret after being inducted into the Skull and Bones, and — for multiple generations — they have fought to limit human sacrifice to sustainable levels before the Earth comes to resemble the sweltering Texas desert they are forced to inhabit. This is their story.

RandomSprint presents: The Burning Bushes.