As an experiment, I’ve asked my cousin RandomSpirit to narrate this story. Let me know in the comments if this is worth the effort.
The young lady fled for her life and her dignity, but the alleyway terminated in a solid brick wall. The menacing shadows continued to advance, flicking knives between their fingers and savoring their prey’s terror.
“Nowhere to run,” the ringleader sadistically observed.
Their faces and throats were tattooed with hateful insignia. They judged people by the color of their skin. They cheated on their taxes, and they were short.
“No one will save you,” another villain observed while wearing a jersey of your least favorite sports team.
“SuperbMan, please!” the young lady shrieked.
Faster than a speeding bullet, SuperbMan departed from his listening orbit and landed in front of the advancing villains. Wind whipped through the alleyway, dramatically stirring his legally distinct cape.
The racist tax-cheating Nazi rapists deserved everything that happened to them next.
A young boy screamed into the night air. “Save me, SuperbMan!”
Faster than a Peregrine Falcon, SuperbMan landed in front of the child.
“What seems to be the problem, citizen?”
The young boy laughed uproariously.
“I didn’t think you would come! Can I have an autograph?”
SuperbMan could have stayed to lecture the boy, but there were doubtlessly other humans to save, and spending a second longer than necessary would only cause more death.
SuperbMan departed to help humans who didn’t take him for granted.
“SuperbMan, help!”
Faster than your mom after a happy hour, SuperbMan carefully opened the skyscraper window and climbed inside.
“Can I assist you, Citizen?”
“Yes, I’ve uncovered a conspiracy in the highest halls of government!”
SuperbMan rubbed his eyes. He had the stamina of a speeding nuclear submarine, but he could get frustrated. The citizen continued, unafraid.
“The government has set aside almost two billion dollars to buy appliances for homeowners! A failed politician is running the fund! She will use the money to curry favor from potential voters! We are thirty-six trillion dollars in debt! We cannot afford this waste, fraud, and abuse!”
SuperbMan didn’t know anything about politics.
“Do you have any proof?”
“Yes! Here’s a press release from when the fund was created.”
SuperbMan read the document faster than a speeding speed reader.
“This doesn’t seem like fraud. They seem very upfront about what they’re doing.”
“Okay, but it is waste and abuse!”
SuperbMan stood for Veracity, Integrity, and the American Way. This “scheme,” it turned out, was the American Way.
“Sorry, sir. I don’t think I can help here.”
“SuperbMan! Help us!”
SuperbMan touched down gentler than a speeding reusable rocket next to two unshaven college students who didn’t look like they needed help.
“Help us win an argument. We’re in a dilemma. Actually, it’s a trilemma.”
SuperbMan hung his head.
“In popular culture, you are often presented as all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-good entity. However, if all three of these were true, then bad things would never happen to good people. Therefore, you are either not all-powerful, not all-knowing, or not all-good.”
“Or some combination of those three,” the other student added.
SuperbMan smothered his instinctive desire to slap the philosopher.
“It can sometimes be very hard to know the right thing to do.”
The other student nodded, happy to come to a conclusion.
“So we know you’re not all-good. Are you all-powerful and all-knowing?”
“If that will be all, citizens.” SuperbMan rocketed back into the air.
The students retrieved the phones from their pockets.
“He didn’t notice I was torrenting movies.”
The other student looked down at the dark web browser on his phone. “So we can rule out him being all-knowing as well.”
Although hundreds begged for SuperbMan’s help every hour — only one offered to help SuperbMan.
SuperbMan rushed to the San Francisco group house faster than a speeding jump to conclusions. He found the man sitting alone with his laptop upstairs.
“Are you the one who wrote about Effective Altruism?”
The blogger inclined his shiny dome. “Yes. SuperbMan, it is an honor to meet you.”
SuperbMan sat on the bed, his large frame making the tiny room look smaller than a small caliber bullet.
“I want to do good, but I don’t know the best thing to do. Do you have any ideas?”
The blogger cited statistics on malaria death rates. SuperbMan listened in rapt attention.
“Eradicating mosquitoes isn’t as dramatic as your usual work.”
SuperbMan’s eyes began to glow. “Yes,” he said. “It sounds perfect.”
The mosquitoes deserved everything that happened to them next.
Humanity celebrated SuperbMan for eradicating mosquitoes for about a month. But the plagues were quickly forgotten, and the peaceful air was soon treated as a birthright.
Few marveled at how lucky they were.
SuperbMan returned to the EA blogger.
“What’s the worst thing you can imagine?”
The blogger did not hesitate. “Interstellar war.”
SuperbMan tried to imagine, but he needed help.
“Picture two interstellar species growing across the galaxy as fast as possible. Too large to coordinate their actions, their overlapping borders result in brutal, genocidal conflict, and the resources of our galaxy are turned to unending destruction.”
SuperbMan was slower than a speeding photon. He could not patrol a galaxy.
The idea of a serene jaunt through space seemed peaceful.
SuperbMan resolutely nodded.
“I will prevent that from happening.”
SuperbMan departed from the planet that was humanity’s cradle, leaving it to grow and thrive on its own.
Long after he was forgotten, humanity thought of the peaceful, empty galaxy as its birthright.
Few marveled at how lucky they were.
That was fun!
Superb!
I wonder your ratio of ideas to execution. Are we only getting a selected few?